PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
