the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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