I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize