Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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