If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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