Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Randomize
