ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
that is very illegal...i love you.
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