So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
