you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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