no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
