i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Randomize
