I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
