I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
