Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
