we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
