puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
