the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
