my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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