Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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