everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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