It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
