maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
