I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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