He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
