I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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