I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
