Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
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