I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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