My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
