i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
