Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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