garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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