I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
