Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
