My hand turned me down
I feel great
I just peed on a car
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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