if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
