Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
