I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
