operation harelip BJ is a go
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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