You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
