someone get that fucking seahorse.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
His hands were made for my vagina.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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