I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
