My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize