She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize