Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
