it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
