I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
