butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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