I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Come see our sink grown plant.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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