You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
