i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
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thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
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and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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