the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
