Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Randomize