I accidentally burped into my bong.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize