I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
