i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
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At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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