I wanna passion pit in your ass
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
