She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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