my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize