There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
