Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
