bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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