got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
